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How to discipline your child without screaming

by | Published: | Updated: 01/04/2018


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Sometimes it seems that the only way to get kids to listen is to scream.  Most parents yell at their kids at one time or another. However, for some parents, screaming becomes a bad habit. 

Studies consistently show that screaming is one of the discipline strategies that can actually make behavior problems worse. And that can lead to a vicious downward spiral, screaming leads to bad behavior which leads to more problems. Also, It loses effectiveness over time. A child who gets shouted on a regular basis will begin to tune you out.

Another problem with screaming is that it doesn’t teach kids how to manage their behavior better. If a child gets yelled at for hitting his brother, he won't learn how to resolve problems peacefully.

 

Here are few tips that how to discipline without screaming at your kids:

Set clear rules

Explain to your child in a clear and age-appropriate way how you expect them to behave. Your child should know the difference between appropriate and inappropriate behavior, and that inappropriate behavior will have consequences.

 

Consider creating “House Rules” and putting them somewhere in your home your child can see them. Add pictures for a younger child. When your child breaks a rule, refer to it directly and state the facts of the situation rather than your emotions.

 

Consistent consequences 

Your child should know their consequences ahead of time. Go over house rules so that they are clear about what happens when they misbehave.

Don’t give in to your child’s negotiations. When you say no, your child should know you mean it. Consistency in your parenting will help your child know their boundaries and lead to less conflict and less yelling.

 

Offer warnings when appropriate

If your child is starting to step outside of their rules or they are pushing a boundary, remind them of their rules and the consequences for breaking a rule. Spell out what happens if they break the rule and mean it.

 

Give your child choices. 

If your child is not completing something you asked them to do, give them alternatives. Instead of screaming to get what you need your child to do, give them some choices instead so they feel some control over their outcome. If something needs to get done, make the choice you’d prefer more enticing.

 

Provide positive reinforcement

Motivate your child to follow the rules by using positive reinforcement. If there are negative consequences for breaking the rules, there should also be positive consequences for following the rules. 

Praise your child for following the rules. Say something like, "Thank you for doing your chore list right when you got home today. I appreciate that."

Give your child plenty of positive attention to reduce attention-seeking behaviors. So, set aside a little one-on-one time each day to motivate your child to keep up the good work. 

 


Adjust your tone of voice

Your child should know you mean business without you having to scream. Soften your voice while still being stern when correcting your child’s behavior. Your words will likely have more impact if you speak gently yet firmly.

 

Be calm and examine the reasons 

If you find yourself screaming at your child, take a look at the reason why. If you are yelling because you’re angry, learn strategies to calm yourself down so you can role model healthy anger management strategies. 

Take a self-timeout or control any upsetting thoughts. Unless it's a dangerous situation, wait until you are calm to discipline your child.

Keep in mind that taking away their gadgets for 24 hours or assigning extra works will help your child think twice about breaking the rules again. Those types of consequences will be more effective than raising your voice. 

 

Also read: Become a student parent and succeed in life

 

Send your thoughts and suggestions at [email protected]

 



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