It has become very common these days hearing unfortunate news about kids when they take step like running away from, getting depressed or sometime committing suicide because of growing pressure of studies/exams and do well. Last week I heard about a very tragic news about one of relative’s kid who committed suicide because he failed to secure his seat in his school sports team. It’s a situation that most of us find too familiar. Every parent wants his son or daughter to top in school or sports and very often they get angry if this is not the case. This is one of the primary cause of growing stress/depression in kids. Let’s talk about some tips that how we can handle when your child is not performing well.
Don’t be angry and remain calm
Don’t be angry and remain calm when you hear that your kid performed poorly or failed in exam because generally kids are already scared in this situation. Believe it or not shouting will not help.
Try to understand his or her point of view and promote a healthy environment in which they feel comfortable to share their problem and seek help without any pressure.
Every child is unique, do not compare
Think of how you would feel if your child compares you with the parents of his friends who are maybe smarter, richer, or have better houses and jobs? It won’t feel good, same goes for children. It makes them feel worthless and unwanted.
Your child wants to hear that you believe he can do well in exam, and only you can encourage him. Take an interest in his interests and together explore new career options for him. Give him your support in whatever career route he chooses as long as he approaches with passion and determination.
It is important to set reasonable goals according to what your child can achieve. Not every child is going to have perfect scores or going to be a doctor or scientist. Every child is unique and so is their aptitudes. Here is the key difference between your child failing because of not trying, vs failing because they are good in other areas.
Let your child rest please
Proper rest is as important as study. Let your child rest before exam and have a healthy meal before exam. It will help him to perform with his best of ability. If he didn't do well, again let him rest as he may be feeling disappointed and tired. It will also give you some time to become calm before you talk to him in detail. Show your child that you care about him and this bad phase will pass away.
Encourage, offer help and don't punish
Praise is more effective when it is specific and when parents are mindful of how and when they praise. This might be a good time to encourage your kid and remind him/her that how did they manage to do well in past. When praising, it is most important to focus on their efforts and achievements.
Offer your help and partner them to identify and solve the problem. It will make them more comfortable and they will feel good and positive.
If punishment is what they get, your child might get more fearful of sharing their academic achievements with you. Let your child know that they can count on you for help so that they will continue to feel motivated to work harder after every exam.
Help your child learn their strengths and weaknesses
No two people learn the same way, and your child’s teacher may be using a method that works for most students but not for him. Sometimes, another approach or a differently-angled explanation is all it takes for understanding.
Help your child determine which areas they have difficulty in, and adjust study time to focus on them. Teach children not only to do their homework but to develop responsibility, foresight, and dedication. These skills are just as essential for learning and can dramatically aid in their overall achievement.
Send your thoughts and suggestions at [email protected] that what is your preferred way and how did you manage if ever faced this situation.